dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

The Dancing Perplex.

The odd thing about next month is that we're dealing with one of the more confusing and annoying arcs in which we discuss John and his reluctance to take dancing lessons with Elly. You would think that she's asking him to gut himself with a shrimp fork the way he's carrying on. You'd also think that he and the other jerk husbands need to take an extension course called "Not making the shit you went through when you were in high school a great big fricking deal" because most of why he's averse to doing something grand and romantic for Elly is that he's forced to confront the weedy git he used to be as a sophomore getting dumped for a dude with a guitar and better ride. It's difficult for me to read this arc without wanting to say that John's diaper rash must be flaring up because he's acting like a sullen child being reminded of a minor defeat.

The problem, of course, is that this is just a symptom of a larger illness: John's refusal to let go of a past where he was a taker of orders rather than a purveyor of them. Pretty much all of his need to be obeyed all the time seems to stem from the terrifying and humiliating time when he, who always seems to have thought that everything he thought and did was right because he was doing it, was told that he was wrong about things and had to obey people when he didn't feel like it and couldn't have everything he felt like having and had to think of other people before himself. This need to defend himself against loss at all costs is the real reason for wanting a home and expecting Lizzie to be his emotional crutch and so on and so forth. We can call it the narcissism of negligible losses.
Tags: john - sulking infant

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