dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

The Diary Of A Wimpy Jump-Up.

To continue merrily on with my idea for "April: the series", it's fairly irritating to have to remember that I could probably spend all day thinking up ways to make the Patterson family into a franchise while there's a storage shed someplace in the Vancouver area loaded with all the stuff Lynn can't sell owing to her being really somewhat bad at what came so easily to her mentor. Why, I can even think up a kid's lit series based on John while she still acts as if he had no past before magically appearing in Elly's favourite spot at the library. John, I should think, is seen in the same light as the main characters in the Britcom "Last Of The Summer Wine" are seen by the ladies' tea circle: a baffling idiot who needs to be weaned away from his mother. The idea of caring about his past and his needs is quite unnecessary so we aren't allowed to know much about him.

This is because Lynn accidentally tells us certain things about John despite her obsessive need to keep him a mystifying blank that opposes Elly for no clear reason other than being male. As by way of example, we have to contend with the fact that John has a black cloud over his head during this current arc because of two reasons that, oddly enough, actually seem to be one reason. This is because while Elly loves to stroll down Memory Lane to when life seemed all brand new, John looks back on his past in regret. He doesn't like being reminded of the awkward wonk he used to be and all the times that girls didn't buy what he was selling. The embarrassment, the rejection, the lack of control of his life, all of those things are things he wants buried so he can feel like King Of Big Fucking Deal Mountain. It's just common sense to assume that someone who loves to wield authority like a bludgeon no matter what the cost is someone who feels as if he has to make up for a life where he was the victim of all victims surpassing all others because he was told to know his place.

What this means is that a series based on the John of the late sixties would be a sort of Cancon Wimpy Kid that had a basically unsympathetic male leader blundering his way through life because he didn't want to understand certain things that he couldn't reasonably be expected to escape. Said knowns not wanted known are "Look here, Nitwit....I'm damned tired working in that mine all day and I can't be Robert Fricking Young so don't get your ass in an uproar if your mom takes point with the decision making", "It might not be fun but since I'm laid up, you're kind of the man of the house so quitcher bitching how life ain't fun" and "Well, it's no wonder Patsy dumped you if you spend all your time yapping about trains." This means that the same parents that he lauds as instilling good values in him would be seen as Communist Mutants From Mars for trying to get a sullen dickwad to acquaint himself with common sense.
Tags: john - sulking infant

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