dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

On not letting John really know things.

Before we begin, I'd like to point out that I am not letting John off the hook for being a dimwitted, ignorant petty tyrant with entitlement issues when I explain what's going on in his house. After all, his stupid comment along the lines of:

All I can do is withdraw mentally a bit from the whole scene, become an observer, and try not to have any feelings about the situation.

tells us that he actively doesn't want to understand the people around him because it musses up his mind and forces him to deal with a quite appalling contradiction between what he wants to believe and what's actually real. Believing in what's actually real might mean that one of the real things is "The reason Lizzie used to feel alienated as a child is that whenever she felt low, her stupid jackass of a father used to trivialize her feelings because he was using her as an emotional crutch like the stupid motherfrakker he is" and since he doesn't want to know about problems that have the solution of him not acting like an oozing sack of pus, he retreats to his shed so that he doesn't have to be the one absorbing lectures about how he's got it sweet.

It so happens that this serves Elly's purposes to a t. When we have to endure crap from him like this:

Our teenager has been feeling alienated, and I don't think we knew the extent of her angst - we thought she was just grumpy about moving, but we didn't realize how unpleasant it was to stay in the rec room and how she had ended up in the position of babysitting the little ones so often. She and Elly had a good talk before April left for the farm, and over the month that April was gone, Elly realized that she really does need more attention - she's plucky, and we don't always remember that she is still a kid, with feelings that get easily hurt.

the better part of a year after it should have been obvious to anyone with a functioning brain, something else becomes obvious: Elly wants to play good cop, bad cop with her as the good cop. John has no idea what really goes on in his house and still doesn't know quite WHAT April said to set Elly off during the "I've had it with motherhood" incident because Elly doesn't want him to do so. If he knew what his children really say or do, one of the feelings that he might have is that his wife is still the same crazy idiot with resentment issues that he had to back up when he didn't want to. If that means that he comes across as a buffoon thinking that he's got April fooled about a move he'd rather not talk about, he's going to have to face being thought of as a lying sack of bastard who thinks of his children as imbeciles.
Tags: explaining john

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