To understand why it is that John, who sees himself as a bulwark against chaos, is actually the cause of it, we must first remember who he is at his core: a happy-go-lucky imbecile whose primary pursuit is to live from day to day without dealing with anything upsetting and not having much asked of him. To once again plagiarize Marvel's Kingpin, he wants to do as little as possible and he wants a big cookie for doing it and he doesn't like it when people imply that he doesn't deserve his big cookie because he hasn't actually earned it and it shouldn't come for free because he's got a penis.
This irritating tendency is what's behind his resistance to remodeling the kitchen. While he looks like a selfish jerk who not only plays with ego-gratifying toys at his family's expense, he finds their pain even sweeter, the plain truth is that what Elly is doing wrong by pointing out that the twenty-five year old crap stove is WHY his meals are dyspepsia-producing slop is challenging his right to live a life so tedious and monotonous that he won't notice it when he dies either. Anyone who wants to yank him out of his armchair, anyone who wants to make him feel emotions at all, anyone who challenges his perceptions is clearly an agent of chaos because why else would they want him to feel things or go to any sort of trouble. Don't they know he gets his big cookie without having to do stuff for it?
What makes it all the more annoying is that he thinks that everyone else should want to live a life of no jolts, no surprises, no challenges to his authority but have been twisted by hormones or bad attitudes or both because the idea of living like a wind-up toy can only appeal to a frightened little man who's scared of life is not one frightened little John can contemplate without seeing himself for the gutless sap he is.