dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Mommy Stupidest.

To explain why the teal and lavender horror that was the Settlepocalypse was passed off as a happy ending, let's remind ourselves that Elly saw herself as the long-suffering victim in a soap opera filled with people who hate her love and want her to never speak when the reality is that her life was actually a horror movie about a stupid, crazy woman who would never let herself be happy. On that note, it's sort of too bad that Hanna-Barbera wasn't given the rights to Foob. If that had happened, the opening narration would go something like this: "Stupidity! Short temper! Wounded pride! These are the ingredients Lynn Johnston chose to make the perfect angry idiot parent....but she accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: insane troll logic! Thus Elly Patterson was born!! Using her ultra-stupid power to assume the very worst of her children, she's dedicated her life to fighting making life easier and happier and the forces of sweet reason!"

The reason she'd be the dumbest, meanest Powerpuff Girl ever is that most people in this world have something Lynn would prefer them to not have: the ability to tell chicken salad from chicken shit. Just as they would notice that the reason Elly is tired, panicky and frustrated after a day's inept maintenance of the home is that she's too dumb and angry to do things properly and efficiently, most people would pick right up on the fact that she brought a lot of the trouble with her kids on herself. As her need to browbeat Liz into admitting that everyone cool was a jerk trying to ruin her and everything cool was a bad thing because it scared a Mommy who hated to lose, she could never quite manage to see them as anything other than combatants to be pounded into submission because she seems to have declared war on their free will for a different reason than John. He wants to go through life without having to do anything. She wants to go through life without having to grow up and admit that her mother is right about things....or worse still, wrong about her children. Tomorrow, I'll show how that made Mike into the dimwitted pig he is.
Tags: elly patterson: universal imbecile., elly versus children

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