In Mike's case, he seems to regard being told that he's responsible for the bad things that happen to him as a sort of evil lie whose purpose is to force him to admit that yes, Lizzie has to be carried around on a litter and no, he can never be right or happy because no one can love him because doing so would break the world or something. What this means is that by trying to allay a fear that he'd just run over Lizzie if he wasn't held back, Elly stupidly gave the world another stubborn idiot who thought that the world is plotting his ruin because it hates to see him happy.
Another way in which her being terrible at talking to children messes with the way children deal with conflict is that she's got an older daughter who sees herself as a helpless pawn in eternity's vast scheme surrounded by cruel people who want to make her miserable by telling her that her actions have consequences when she knows that they're fated to happen. Lizzie's fear of being punished and thus not having her DADDY love her no more has given the world a passive twit who blames everyone but herself for her troubles.
The same cannot be said for the Martian because of the very stupid way in which her idiot grandmother tried to convince her that she didn't kill Farley by being naughty. As the book "All About April" tells us, Carrie seems to have meant well but her stupid, sappy gibberish about how Farley gave up his life for her has convinced the child that yessir, she did kill a dog who was so old and crippled up, a stiff breeze would have taken him out of the picture. To this day, she tells herself that if only she had listened to garbled orders from imbecile old people who are crap at explaining things to kids, he would probably still be alive today despite that whole "his heart would have exploded if April were watching Love Boat instead of wandering into ravines" thing I mentioned. This exaggerated belief in her power over the world not only led to her taking her silly rivalry with Becky too damned seriously, it's why she can't be told that she didn't will a tree onto a house.