The first Great Big Problem with all of this is that there is nothing for the children to actually read for enjoyment. Just as the children are supposed to magically develop good table manners despite being exposed to parents whom a group of Klingons would describe as having barbaric table manners, they're supposed to develop an appreciation for the written word despite having parents who are too busy to read to them, a bookcase filled with boring reference manuals because children's literature encourages belief in fantasy and is thus counterrevolutionary and a mother who has turned the library into a no-go zone because a refusal to admit that children are allowed to be curious about what adults do makes her think that her job and her children should never mix. As it is with the Pattersnarfing and Elly's refusing to admit that they model themselves after her and John, it's their fault for not doing something that she's made impossible.
The second Great Big Probiem is that she folds when she realizes that her children don't actually like being regarded as being exponents of chaos who want to ruin her. Despite the encouraging words from fellow idiot Connie about how they'll thank her for caring enough to be a capricious maniac who wants to see them as eldritch abominations, it hurts her to feel that her children don't like being thought of as monsters. She hates not being liked and thus whines piteously about how much she hates disciplining the children when the plain fact is that the only thing she hates is being called on being an idiot who doesn't know what she's doing or who she's dealing with. She loves being angry, she just hates being angry at the wrong people.