She also seems to very much want them to empathize with the needs of other people but her massive stupidity and self-absorption prevent them from developing anything like a sense that other people matter. The key to failure is her dim-witted belief that her children only pretend to feel sorry that they've displeased her to make her feel guilty about brainlessly over-reacting to a situation that either isn't worth worrying about or is her own damned fault. She hates the implication that she's a moronic, angry bonehead who only had children so she could have people to push around with impunity so in order to shield herself from the truth about her raging, imbecilic self, she pretends that they're just pretending to hurt her so they can go back to the carefree romp that has to be their lives because if what happens to them when they're kids can be said to matter, she's far worse and far more damaging a mother than Marian ever was.
The downside of having their own feelings angrily devalued by a dull-witted psycho who very much wants to avoid seeing the villain protagonist in the mirror is that if their feelings don't matter because Elly is stronger, people weaker than they are or people in the way of things they want cannot be said to have feelings that matter. Since Elly is a moron telling herself a lie because she can't handle the truth, her children learn to run over people and moan about being made to feel bad.