dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

Who's writing things about Lizardbreath

Of course, it's not just Liz who tends to totally screw up weddings she's involved in. To explain why, we have to remember that another tradition is to have some male relation deliver a speech that lists all the stupid embarrassing things that the bride has done with a view to blowing off a bit of steam after the solemnity of it all. When she first encountered this phenomenon, Lizzie asked John which relative is keeping track of the embarrassing things she does. John didn't quite say but, well, I think we know who that might be and he looks like Evil Linus Van Pelt. This is because we KNOW that Michael delivered this speech during the Settlepocalypse.

As I said years ago, this means that the guests were treated to a tsunami of rancid oatmeal that has as its premise the stupid idea that Mike is the victim of all victims surpassing all others because he had to share the oxygen in the house. He, of course, has no idea that he comes across as a creature similar to his imbecile mother in that both of them resent the very idea of having a sibling or that he also looks like a whiny moron who can't let piddly crap from decades go. He'll expect nothing but praise for his fair and balanced view of his sister.

The interesting thing is that the inevitable result that is Liz being told that it's tradition to be slammed at her own wedding by the Looming Shape Of Imbecile Malice that's haunted her life and will continue to overshadow her and get in the way of her finally being loved for decades to come is rather true to life. In a world dedicated to justice and honour instead of going along to get along, the guests would rise up en masse, behead Michael, shove a clove of garlic in his mouth, pound a wooden stake into his heart and bury his ass at a cross-roads but in this world of present darkness, he'd be allowed to be a dimwitted man-child who can't see past his nose.
Tags: mike versus lizzie, mikerobe: the universal infant
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