dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Bland names: a reminder.

As we know, Lynn is the sort of person who sort of edits what her children say in order to spin their innocent remarks as yet another means by which they're busting her ass because they hate her freedom. This is why when they quote brand names for restaurants and cereals that are enjoyable to eat, she says that they want junk food and sugar cereal. No child has ever actually asked for either so what we're experiencing is Lynn misrepresenting what they really say to demonstrate how bad being asked for things she doesn't like makes her feel. Her children should have loved her enough to not like things she does not.

This extends, sadly, to the names that she does create when she feels like it. Whenever we see them go down to a fast food restaurant, they eat things called 'Grunt Burgs' because the depressed whacko author gets cramped up eating at those placed. They eat 'Goo Balls" and "Whoopee Bars" because candy makes Lynn feel sad and mad and afraid and above all ugly and they're not allowed to have fun eating things that make her feel ugly. Their cereal names are also stupid-sounding because she has to nag them about that as well. Even movies sound ridiculous because of her mastery of Passive-Aggressive Fu.

The reason that I reminded you of that is that Whoopee Bars (Whoopee!!! I end up adding fifty pounds eating one little bar and it just goes through them without stopping!!! WWWWWWAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!) only figure in the early goings. She goes really crazy when she names John's joy wagons...as I'll discuss tomorrow.
Tags: freefloating commentary

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