Tags: anthony is john is john is anthony

Snarky Candiru2

The surrender-survival perplex

Now, if you'll recall your early history of the Pattersons, you'll remember that Elly had the expectation that when she was done supporting John during the post-grad era and he'd established himself, she could pick up where she left off and please her mother by getting her Bachelor Of Arts degree. It didn't quite work out that way because, well, the repellent choad thought that one of the things he should have been praised for saving her from was getting a degree. Given the setting, it's sort of obvious that the fifty year delay looks like a denial because even if he does convince himself he's being a wonderfully progressive person for letting her get that degree that seems to have been a potential reason that she resented her lot in life, it's too fucking late to do anything with it. That being said, Elly has no right to complain because she let John walk all over her because she was afraid of losing his ass and reverting to the status of 'child' instead of progressing to the status of 'woman who dodged a big, stupid, entitled bullet.'

This is where an annoying habit people have of protecting themselves from having to admit to having pointlessly endured needless suffering at the hands of imbeciles comes into play. I should think that if April were to have the horribly poor luck of expressing sympathy for Elly because of the long, long delay in realizing her dream and so on, she'd be met with Elly defiantly claiming to have survived quite well without it. This is so she can look down on and feign sympathy for Therese for the same reason everyone else does: she eventually grew sick of her life and told Anthony to shove his narrow point of view up his scrawny ass. The need Elly had to be in a relationship that's based mostly on her exploitation because the alternative seemed scarier blinds her to the fact that most of the men in her life don't like the idea of people not buying the bullshit they're selling. Since she can't deflect her asshole husband and doesn't really want to live without him, she really is responsible for her own problems. So is Liz for the same reason. So is Deanna for quite another.
Snarky Candiru2

The artificial deprivation complex.

Of course, the really irritating thing about Assthony is that he's a momma's boy whose momma is in Holland after her starter marriage went kaboom. He might not realize it but he's probably better off without a fickle, histrionic weirdo who always had to be giggling but since he doesn't, he's stuck with the insane need to live the life he feels that he was entitled to have. When you have to factor in the fact that his dad Gavin Caine is a space Nazi because he expected Anthony to actually help defray the cost of buying an automobile instead of simply handing him one for breathing, you end up with a dolt who mistakenly believes that a life of privilege is one of bleak deprivation because he wasn't given things he falsely believed were supposed to be assigned to him: a hovering birth mother, a domestic angel in his house and a daddy who was cool with his being a trust fund abomination.

Similarly, John thinks his life is one of bleak deprivation because his parents possessed the virtue of thrift and the concern that the bad times might come again. Just as Elly should stay home and go slowly crazy because his mother did, the kids don't really deserve the toys and allowance they do and she doesn't really deserve a new, modern kitchen because that asshole John uses his past as a means of denying those around him things that they aren't said to deserve because reasons. Similary, Anthony thought Therese should be happy to stay home and go insane because he wanted to have his crazy mommy with him forever. In both instances, what should have happened in the last strip is RED Sniper telling them that what they have in common with Jane Austen is that they are all dead women.
Snarky Candiru2

Lizardbreath: the hero's reward.

As we know, the oddest thing happens when Miss Keen Senses lets the self-loathing and insecurity that not being handed free stuff because she's cute any longer blind her to the fact that Anthony has a yen for her; said thing is that our lad has made her the subject of a creepy and weird rescue fantasy that has as its core concept the idea that being grateful to be saved obviates her having a personality and hopes and dreams of her own as well as his having to wonder about who the person he's crushing on actually is. He saved her and there's the end of it so anything like compatibility or consideration for her is a luxury.

If this is sounding mighty familiar, let's remind us that John took the Devil's own time realizing that who the Hell Elly is and what the Hell she wanted out of life might be something he'd want to look in to because, as he saw it, he rescued her from the scary, awful labour force and all the other scary awful things that were bad for her that hormones had to make her want because otherwise, she'd be grateful and not make baffling noise about hating being a maid, nanny and cook and wanting to make a real difference like he did. By the time this happened, she got bored running her business because winning is no fun and he wound up wondering what it was all for. This means that by 2030 at the earliest, Anthony might start to realize that Liz isn't anything like the Liz in his head because Nice Guys™ figure life out last.
Snarky Candiru2

On tiny gated communities and stupidity-maintaining puns.

Another irritating habit Anthony seems to have in common with John is parenting out of fear and by intimidation. While I don't like the idea of his tiny little gulag, his telling a child "Kiss Lizzie's ass or Santa won't come" or his playing mean-spirited trick of making Francoise think he'd cut off his finger on impressionable child, what really annoys me is that he shares with John the aggravating habit of using stupid puns to keep children from knowing things.

As we see here, John outed himself as someone who defended himself against the 'humiliation' of being ignorant and stupid by pulling crap out of his arse. We all know John is all about avoiding looking foolish but what we lose sight of is that he and Anthony share the same idiotic and hateful trait: the fear of their children knowing much at all. As I've said before, John fears his children because he's transfixed by a bullshit nightmare fantasy in which they live to destroy and embarrass him and the only way to prevent that nonsense apocalypse is to keep them ignorant of an outside world in which his opinion is, well, what it is and always was: absobloodylutely useless. The same process seems to be going on in the Caine house because Anthony fears a world in which everyone leaves him crying for his mama because his asshole dad was shit at explaining what a starter marriage was.

What this means is that both men have the same habit that should in any world dedicated to justice, decency and honour get them both road-dragged until they're nothing but pelvises wearing white belts of using what they falsely assume to be childhoods of bleak deprivation to deny people things they know they deserve.